In this post I wanted to kind of introduce myself and let you guys in on some of my goals and aspirations, and just let you guys know more about who I am. So, let’s start with the basics.
My name is Anthony Najera. Some of you guys might see on my Instagram for example, that I tend to use the letter X as an abbreviation for my middle name. I don’t technically have a middle name, but if I’ve always wanted to change my name to Xavier so if I had it my way my full name would be Xavier Anthony Najera. I’ve just never connected with the name Anthony and I feel like it’s kind of weird that we get this random name that we never chose and were stuck with it for life. I don’t know, but I like the idea of being able to choose who I am and what my name should be.
If you haven’t guessed by my last name, I’m Mexican American! Born American, raised in a Mexican household. Being raised Mexican, in America was very difficult for me. I faced a lot of challenges in school with the language, and fitting in. I always knew I was different from the other kids, but I didn’t realize it was because of my Mexican background. I just always felt inadequate when I would speak and socialize because It wasn’t the way the American kids did. I was actually put into an ESL class, and for those of you who don’t know, Esl stands for English as a second language. At first this didn’t bother me because I was hanging out with some other kids, we would get pulled out of class and do some other types of activities that were fun. It wasn’t until I got older that this really started to bug me. I felt like I was being babied, and I felt even more inadequate that I had to ask for extra help, when I didn’t need it. Being in this ESL program until the 6th grade really sparked a fire in me. I was pushing myself to read harder books, to learn punctuation and grammar, to write and read more than all my other peers. I knew I didn’t need ESL because English wasn’t my second language, it was my first, along with Spanish. I remember this one time in grade school, I’m not sure of what grade I was in, but we had these reading logs, the goal was to read at least every day for 20 min, so that by the end of the week we would have 60 min of logged time which we would then get credit for. One day, at the end of the week, I was wasting for the teacher to come around and check off my log, I was with my friends when I pulled out my log sheet, and that week I had read 2 hours, In one day. I was proud of my work that week but when one of my friends saw it, I remember she told me that I was a liar. And obviously that hurt me if I can still recall it to this day, but it hurt me more that I wasn’t able to prove it. I remember I kept telling her “I’m not lying! I really did read 120 min that day” and she said something along the lines of “that’s impossible because I read less than that the whole week combined.” And I just remember getting so mad because I couldn’t prove that I wasn’t lying. My background in grade school made me want to excel in in reading and writing, and in middle school and high school, English was always my top class.
Fast-forward to now, I graduated high school and I’m currently working towards my associate degree in communications. College is fucking hard! I regret not taking high school more seriously, in terms of education and knowledge, I just feel like I didn’t take as much from it as I could. I was the kid that was more worried about having a good time, instead of taking some extra college courses, or classes that peaked my interest and stuff like that. High school for me was one of the worst times of my life. For many reasons. I had a few of my worst heartbreaks. 2: I was figuring out my sexuality, I was forced out of the closet, I failed my first class, I was diagnosed with anxiety, I even wanted to take my own life a couple of times. I was in a super dark place when I was in high school. I guess now would be a good time to mention, that I am not straight. That’s a topic that I will not get further into at this time, but it was a big catalyst for some huge events in my life so its definitely something I’ll be talking about more and more as this podcast progresses. Back to college, I’ve been pursuing my associate degree for three years now, because I’ve never been a full-time student and I’ve taken a break as well. Like I said, college is very hard, and again, is a topic I’ll be covering further on as this podcast progresses, but I do want to say that if you know in your heart that you are not ready for further education, do not waste your money or time going to college. College has been a great learning experience for me but after going for a while I can say with 100% certainty that it is not for everyone.
Now some other things I think you guys should know about me are my goals! I want to go over some of my goals with you guys just so we get a little personal. Right now, I have three big goals. One is fitness, if you know me you know I love the gym. Running specifically has helped me tons! But recently I’ve been getting into weight training and that’s been pretty fun too. I did not expect to like it, but as I’ve learned more and more about techniques and nutrition, and as I’ve seen the progress and changes in my body, I’ve come to love it almost as much as I love to run. So, in short, my fitness goal is to become fit lol, so it sounds kind of vague, but I pretty much just want to look toned, feel healthy and be stronger. In my head that’s what being fit means. My second goal is to finish my communications degree and get into a job that I really like. I’m really passionate about video/radio production, so stuff like editing and recording footage and creating content really excites me and that’s what got me into podcasting actually. So, I’d love to get a further education in communications, but for now I’m striving to just finish my associates and get my foot in the door. My third goal is to grow my presence in the media. I currently have 4 different channels of media that I’m looking to grow. I’m really passionate about creating content and to be able to do that I need to reach people outside of the podcast. I not only have this podcast that I’m growing but I also have another podcast called the silver screen expanse. If you don’t know, that podcast is centered on movie reviews and movie topics and stuff like that and its more conversational and lighthearted than this podcast. I also have my social media profiles that I’m learning to grow and I’m having a lot of fun with that! I love learning about how to market and grow on social media and I feel like it’s a skill that is going to be very helpful and useful for my career field. So if you guys want, go follow me on Instagram! Ill leave links to both of my profiles in the podcast notes! The Instagram page that I made for this podcast is very centered on positivity and motivational quotes and stuff like that, so if that’s your thing really make sure to check that out!
I wanna switch tones to a topic that’s a little more serious. I was diagnosed with high levels of anxiety a while ago, and it’s something I’ve had to live with every day. I’ve had a few panic attacks as well that are truly horrifying. A large part of my struggles stem from my social anxiety and overthinking. My brain never shuts off. From the minute I wake up I’m flooded with thought after thought after thought, it’s so draining and frustrating to have this never-ending monologue going on in my head. I’ve learned to live with the over thinking aspect of it, but anxiety is so much more than one symptom. Dealing with this on a daily basis affects my moods, and my emotions, but it’s also helped me be more in tune with myself and what I’m really feeling. This, along with almost everything I’ve talked about in this podcast is going to be a reoccurring topic in this show. Remember that anxiety is different for everyone and you shouldn’t just self-diagnose. This is not fun, it’s not trendy and its definitely not fun to live with. In the past it has lead me to not caring, it has lead me to doing some really stupid reckless things that could have had me killed, and its lead me to sabotaging my own future. With time, I’ve learned how to deal with certain aspects of anxiety. I know what triggers my panic attacks and I know how to stop them for the most part. I feel helpless somedays but others I feel like I have It all. But I’m still learning about myself and discovering new things that help me calm down and ways to improve my state of mind. It takes a lot out of me to live like this, but life is worth it.
As, this post is almost drawing to a close and I want to let you guys know one more thing. Tired is a state of mind is a phrase that came up to me one day while I was at work. I remember I woke up that day and I was tired; I tried to keep a positive mindset and went to work and tried to push through the day. At around 10-11 am I crashed, and I just felt so incredibly tired that I wanted to go home. For some reason I was thinking about “how is it that when I’m running, I’m able to put the thoughts of being tired aside. How is that when I need to push myself to do a couple more reps, I can put aside being tired?” and then I thought “If someone were to come at me with a knife I’d probably be quickly able to pick up my jog to a sprint.” And then It hit me. “If, depending on the circumstances, I can change my mind to not be tired anymore, is being tired a state of mind? So, I dwelled on that question and decided to apply it to other aspects of my life. When you truly get into the mindset that you want to succeed, and you want to be able to accomplish the tasks at hand you have to make yourself believe that being tired is a state of mind. Yes, it’s an over
powering feeling. Tiredness is so easy to succumb to but put your mind to the test and you’ll see that it really is just a state of mind. So that’s where the name came from and that’s the entire philosophy that this podcast is based on.
Tired is a State of Mind (INTRO)
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